The Long Ride

I wrote this for all of the parents out there who are facing high-school graduation with their child. Whether it’s this year, or in 12 years, it will be here sooner than you think.

The Long Ride

Every day I spend about three hours driving my kids around.

When it was time for school enrollment, it looked like our school was closing, so for that and other reasons, we chose not to send our kids to the local school in their neighborhood. Instead, we do school-of-choice, which is in the next town over. There is no school bus or even a city bus to take, which means I have become the mom-taxi.

Every morning we pack into the car and I drive to the high school, where I drop off my older son, then circle back to the middle school, where I drop off my youngest. In the afternoon, I do the same route, only to pick them up. Then later in the evening, I am usually heading back to pick up or drop off for sports practice, music lessons, church youth group, or any number of activities near their schools.

I have made this trip for 12 years.

On a good day, when I miss all the stoplights and the traffic isn’t heavy, and the carpool lines move fast at the schools, I can make it home in just over an hour.  But most days it takes longer. Lately, with the construction closing roads and nearly doubling the rush-hour traffic, it can seem like I’m on the Incredible Journey before I find my way back home.

Sometimes I complain, because it seems like what I’m supposed to do. It takes time away from my work day (three hours!), costs a crazy amount in gasoline, and I won’t even tell you how much mileage I clock on the mini-van every year. But usually I love this drive, because you see, I have my kids all to myself.

I allow some electronic device time in the morning because honestly, I’m too tired to talk. But when we hit the halfway mark, all devices have to be put away and for the rest of the day, we visit. Or sometimes we don’t. But we’re together.

I learn about their school day, their friends, and what they got on their tests. We have discussions on what bothers them and why, and they tell me funny stories. I hear what music they like, what teachers they don’t, and if they’re nervous about that evening’s baseball game. Sometimes they hear their mom swear at other drivers (and apologize) and then discuss why swearing is bad but how God loves us anyway. Sometimes they see me cry, if we hit a bunny or drive by a memorial. We argue abut temperature, radio volume and who sits shotgun. We snack, drink, and sleep (not me!) in the car. It’s like our mini-world. And it bonds us.

“I can’t believe you drive that much every day,” other moms say to me on a regular basis. “What a burden!”

But it’s not. I consider it a privilege. What other way would I get huge, unscheduled blocks of times to talk with my kids? I’m one of the lucky ones.

Some day soon – just a year from now – my oldest one will graduate from high school and go on to college. Then a few short years later, so will my youngest. And I will look over in my car and find myself alone and wish for all the world that they were with me, and that for one more day I could drive those three long hours with them beside me.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. — Ecclesiastes 3:1